Remembering Andrew

One year ago today I gave birth to our son Andrew, who had passed away after just 19 weeks in the womb. The past few days I have been reflecting over all that has happened this past year. I wanted to share Andrew’s story and how he has changed my life. We have wanted a second child for as long as I can remember. When Ryne was 15 months old we got pregnant and lost that baby a few weeks later. We kept trying to get pregnant again, and after a year (and 3 rounds of fertility treatments) we got pregnant with Andrew in the fall of 2010. We were thrilled to get pregnant again and so excited that Ryne would finally have a sibling. Everything looked great for the first 3-4 months. At 16 ½ weeks I went in for an ultrasound, and my whole world turned upside down. We found out that our baby had a condition that he would not survive, and we would lose him soon. Two weeks later he was gone. After 19 weeks of being pregnant, I had to give birth to my son that I wanted so badly to keep. The day was filled with tears, sorrow, and joy, but we felt the peace of God with us and knew that Andrew was in a better place. The prayers from our family, friends, and amazing church were felt in such a powerful way that day.


A few days later we had a small memorial service with our families and our pastor Mark and his wife Sarah. I wanted to share some words that Mark said that meant so much to us:

“Today we grieve over the loss of your child:
□ whose eyes you never saw □ whose ears only knew sound from your womb, Krista □ whose lips could not speak □ whose smile you could not see
But I want you to imagine this in your minds: When Andrew opened his eyes for the first time, he saw the glory of God. When his ears heard outside of the womb for the first time, he heard angels rejoicing. When his lips opened for the first time, they sang out in praise to God. And the first person to ever see that little face smile was Jesus. His bearded face broke into a smile, His eyes brightened, and He said, “I know that face! This is Andrew Elias Hilgendorf.”

How incredible is that! When I think of heaven now, I imagine walking around holding the hand of my little boy who has only known happiness and the joy of living with Jesus. No tears, no hurt, and no sorrow! Amen!

Yesterday I went through my “Andrew Box” because I wanted to remember him. I looked at the few pictures that we have, held his blanket, and read every note, card, and email that our dear friends and family sent us. I was again overwhelmed with gratitude for all of the people that we had loving us and praying for us. Their words meant so much then and now.

I am a different person now than I was a year ago, and I am so thankful. I am closer to God now than I have ever been. In my sadness I clung to Him, His word, and His promises. I have spent so much time in prayer, in the word, and surrounding myself with Christian music. These are the things I know: I know that God loves me. I know that God has a plan for my family. I know that Andrew is in heaven and is held in Jesus’ arms. I know that God is my strength, comfort, peace, shelter, joy, and rock. There are so many Bible verses and songs that have brought me through this year; more than I can share here. I would love to share them with anyone who is interested, along with some great books that I have read.

Through all of this I have wanted to use Andrew’s story to help others. We have already had the opportunity to share our situation with several couples that are in similar situations. Helping others gives some purpose to our pain. We are still waiting to see what God has planned for our family, but I am so content now with all that I have. No matter what life brings we will continue to lean on God and each other and we are excited for the journey ahead!


~Krista

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Ryne's 3rd Birthday

A few weeks ago we celebrated Ryne's 3rd birthday with a Disney Cars party. The kids made foam license plates for a craft. We had car races around our backyard with cardboard box race cars. The kids were able to do pit stops for gas and to fix their tires. Aunt Emily decorated Ryne's birthday cake (again) and it was awesome! After cake we had a Lightning McQueen pinata. After the guests left, Ryne got his big present from all of his grandparents...a Power Wheels jeep! Check out the videos and pictures below.

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

Ryne's License Plate

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

Kyle and I got Ryne a new bike, but he is afraid to ride it.

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

Happy Birthday my sweet Ryne!

From Ryne's 3rd Birthday

Future Drummer?

We were in the student room at our church yesterday and Ryne seemed really interested in the drum set. What do you think?

Christmas 2010

Merry Christmas to all our wonderful friends and family! While Krista and I have received some really awful news in the past few days, we have thoroughly enjoyed spending quality time with Ryne and family. Below is a video montage of the last several days and some great pictures. Enjoy!

Santa @ the Children's Museum!


Ryne and Gma P made an awesome gingerbread train!


Ryne @ Gpa & Gma's church service, listening to the kid's message


Christmas Eve with dad!


Train table!


Buzz & Woody Christmas morning! Thanks Santa!

Tools from Gpa and Gma P! AWESOME!

Ryne's preschool Christmas program

Ryne has been in a 2-year old preschool class at our church this year. He absolutely loves it and we have seen some amazing growth in him this year just by attending a few hours a week. Today the preschool put on their Christmas program. This meant that Ryne and his class got to sing a song in front of all the parents. Here is that performance. We were so proud of him today. The stellar camera work was done by Krista today in case anyone was wondering! ;)

>

Picture catch-up

As promised, here are some pictures from this summer and fall to catch-up. If you haven't seen the post below, there is more text and videos. You can click on the slideshow if you want to see the pictures in larger quality.

We're back...at least for now

Has it really been since June since we last posted? Yikes. We've been a bit busy, but no excuse for ceasing to share with all of you. Since June, we were living with Kyle's parents while our new home was being finished. Ryne started PreSchool two days a week at our church. We closed on our house in early September and it is hard to believe that it's been 2 months in our new house. It feels like home although we still have a lot of boxes in corners and decorating we'd like to get to. We're pacing ourselves.

Kyle has been traveling quite a bit lately. Since our last post he has been to San Diego, San Francisco, Dallas, Palo Alto and will be in Orlando and San Jose shortly. His job is quite busy and challenging but he is very much enjoying it. Krista is still loving being a stay at home mom and every day with Ryne is fun and challenging.

Ryne has become our little man. He is so grown up. His vocabulary is fantastic and he is 100% boy. Running everywhere and trying to throw everything. Dad is so proud! Here are some videos from the last few months. We'll get a post with fun pictures soon.

Ryne loved jumping into the lake this summer


Ryne performing some clumsy rolling in Clara's hospital room.


Ryne running through a maze over and over at a pumpkin patch


Ryne in a bounce house at Oktoberfest


Ryne loves playgrounds and it quite coordinated at the slide dismount


Everyday is a new adventure for Ryne

Ryne has fun with cousins

Ryne's cousins Titus and Addison are home from Germany for the summer. He has had a blast with them and here are a few videos so far this week:

Ryne and Titus took turns playing Tee Ball. Ryne is getting pretty good at this.



Uncle Ken and Aunt Linda brought the 3 kids some really fun light toys. They had a blast playing with them in the dark basement.



As much fun as it is to color on the easel, it's even more fun to play in the "box".

Fantastic Weekend

It's been quite an amazing weekend on several fronts. The weekend started Friday night when Kyle's cousin Jim came down from Chicago and the two of us went to the Pearl Jam show at Verizon. We both agreed that it was not the best Pearl Jam show we've seen, but it was very good nonetheless. It was very stormy and windy just prior to the show starting and we were afraid it might get cancelled. But the rain held off and the show was great.

Saturday was Ryne's 2nd Birthday party. Everyday leading up to his party was 75 degrees or warmer, but Saturday morning brought 50 degree temperatures and high winds. We cancelled our park reservation and held it at Kyle's parents house instead. Our house had a showing that afternoon and therefore we couldn't host it at our house. Here is a link to several pictures from his birthday, or you can see a few below. Check out the awesome cake Aunt Emily made! I've also put together a few video clips of Ryne and his tee ball set. He loves it! Thanks Dee and Greg! If you watch the video closely, he leaves all of you a present at the end!

Speaking of the house showing, we received an offer on the house in the afternoon and by Saturday night, counter offers having gone back and forth, we settled on a sale! So that is a big relief and we are really excited to have it sold. Since the tax credit ended on April 30, our realtor told us the market has gone dead silent, so we are really pumped this worked out. If all continues to go well, we'll be moved out of our house by June 18 and need to live at my parents for a couple of months while our new house is being finished. All in all, the house was only on the market for 3 weeks.

This weekend also brought some great Purdue Basketball news as both E'twaun Moore and JaJuan Johnson decided to NOT enter the NBA draft. This means Purdue (barring injury) will be a fantastic team next year and should compete to be an elite team all season. All those groans you hear are coming from IU fans around the state. Sorry guys.

Finally, we're enjoying a great Mother's Day and Ryne's Birthday today. Ryne bought mommy a little figurine that she will be able to display for many years. Happy Mother's Day Krista!





Aunt Emily made an AWESOME Handy Manny cake for Ryne! Thanks Em!




Always the daredevil!

HOMERUN!

Updates

It's been a while since we've last posted. Things have been really busy. A couple of weeks ago we decided to build a new house. Our current house is now on the market and our new one should be done by late September. We're still living in the same general area just a little bit further east than we are right now. We are very excited. While our house will look different from a brick and color perspective, here is an artist rendition of what the outside will look like.


Ryne is full of fun. He will turn 2 next weekend and we have a fun birthday party at the park planned for him and his little friends. We're hoping for great weather. He is 100% boy. He has learned that he enjoys jumping off of everything and throwing everything he can find. The below video montage shows him throwing a ball and some of his magnetic letters. Enjoy!

Easter

We had a blast last weekend for Easter. On Saturday we took Ryne to our church for an Easter Egg hunt. He had a lot of fun. Then on Sunday we had another hunt at Grandpa and Grandmas. Below is a video from Sunday.

Mom's 60th Birthday!

My mom had her 60th birthday this past week. I was lucky to get to spend most of the day with her. My mom and I took Ryne to Monkey Joe's in the morning. He had a great time playing with Grandma and Mommy, going down the slides, and bouncing! After we played the 3 of us went out to lunch. While we were at lunch, Ryne somehow texted a picture of himself to my mom's friend...4 times! His first picture text! Haha! Here are some pictures from our day:

From March 2010

From March 2010

From March 2010

From March 2010

From March 2010

Ryne giving a birthday card to Grandma.

That night my mom, dad, Kyle, and I went out to dinner to celebrate my mom's B-day. I gave my mom a scrapbook filled with pictures and letters from her family members and closest friends. Thanks to all of you who contributed to this special book! It was a great day and I feel so blessed to have such a great mom. Happy Birthday Mom!

From March 2010

From March 2010

Mom's Scrapbook

From March 2010

From March 2010

Ryne counts to 10

Ryne has been counting to 10 since about Christmas...we decided we better get it on video. He's obviously quite distracted in this video, but that is classic Ryne!

Ryne's First Sledding!

After the snow on Friday, we were able to take Ryne outside at Gma and Gpa H's and sled down the hill in the front yard. Ryne was his usual daredevil self and loved it thoroughly. Lots of squealing and laughing. After we came to a stop at the bottom, it was mere seconds before he started yelling "Again, Again!". Here is a video of a few of the runs and some of our favorite pictures. Thanks to Gpa for snapping the great moments!

Mom really sprayed snow in his face!

Germany Trip Highlights

We realize its been quite a while since we've posted an update. It seems just like yesterday that we were getting back from Germany. Hard to imagine its been 3 weeks. I put together a slideshow of pictures and video clips from our trip. It's mostly silent except for the audio that comes through during the few clips. We had a blast visiting Greg, Danielle, Titus, and Addison and Ryne really enjoyed hanging out with his cousins for an extended period. He also did great in the traveling. We hope you enjoy the video.

2009 Christmas Letter

We decided to post our Christmas Letter on our blog this year. I've put some links in the letter to take you to older posts from the year. Simply click on one of them to read more about that event. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas from the Hilgendorf’s!

Kyle-This year Kyle turned 30! His gifts included tickets to the US Senior Open in Carmel, and he finally got to go on a tour of Wrigley Field. He loved seeing the Cubs press box, clubhouse, dugout, and stepping onto the field. Kyle is still working at Eli Lilly after 8 years there and things are going pretty well. Right now Kyle is trying to heal from a broken foot that he got from playing football with the high schoolers!

Krista-I am very much enjoying being a stay-at-home mom with Ryne. I love getting to spend each day with him and seeing how he is learning and growing. I am also involved with some women’s programs at my church during the week. Kyle and I continue to work with the youth group at our church and have been able to go on a few trips with them this year.

Ryne-On to our sweet Ryne James…As I looked back over pictures and blogs from the last year, I am amazed at how much Ryne has changed. He started out the year just beginning to crawl. In June he started taking his first steps and now runs everywhere. He also has a very extensive vocabulary. Ryne LOVES his grandparents and can’t get enough of his “Papas and Mamas”. In May we celebrated Ryne’s 1st birthday with a Sesame Street party. Little did we know how much he would grow to love Elmo! In June, Ryne got to attend his first Cubs game (although it was in Cincinnati). Ryne made it until the 9th inning and stayed up until almost 10:30 that night!

Dogs-This year we unfortunately had to get rid of one of our dogs, Sammy. She was having lots of trouble getting along with our other dog Chloe. Fortunately, Sammy has been adopted by another family and we pray that she is enjoying her new home.

Family-This January we welcomed our newest niece, Penelope, into the family. She and Ryne are becoming great friends. We now have 4 nieces and nephews: Titus, Ellie, Addison, and Penny. This past August my sister and her family moved to Germany to do mission work at a school. They are dorm parents for 25 high school boys who are children of missionaries. Kyle, Ryne, and I will be going to visit them for Christmas. It will be Ryne’s 1st plane ride and should be an adventure!

We always love this time of year to receive pictures and letters in the mail from our friends that we have not seen or spoken to in quite some time. May God bless you and your families this holiday season and into 2010. We love you all.

Kyle, Krista, and Ryne

Ryne and Ellie High 5, Hug, Kiss

Cousins Ryne and Ellie have been hanging out this weekend for Thanksgiving. It's been awhile since they have been together but they have become great friends. Here is a fun video snapped during some playtime.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our family and friends! We are so thankful for all of you. God has been incredibly good to us and our family. Last night the 3 of us took some time to build a thankful tree. We each took turns writing down what we were thankful for and tying them to the tree. Ryne didn't quite understand what was going on, but he was thankful for Papas, Mamas, and "George/Thomas/Elmo". Here are a couple of pictures.